in this election season there has been quite a lot of discussion and rancor. fact: i’m a conservative and i have very VERY strong political beliefs. that being said i have many liberal friends who disagree strongly with my beliefs as much as i disagree with theirs and because i don’t like contention i usually keep my beliefs to myself. in a way it makes me sad because i love debating the issues and hearing both sides. most of the time i feel i’m respectful of their feelings and i’m not accorded the same respect. instead of a civil political discourse where two people can hammer out their differences, disagree, and yet do so with love doesn’t seem to be possible anymore in this country. more often than not my opinion is shouted down in a flurry of “you just think that because your parents/church think that, why don’t you think for yourself”. the thing that i resent the most is the implication that i haven’t thought through the issues and formed my own opinion because many members of my church and my family agree with me. how would they like it if i said “oh you just feel that way because your college professor thinks that”. i’m a person of above average intelligence, don’t treat me like i’m stupid or a pawn. give me the respect to hear me out and i will do the same, not matter how much i disagree with you.
(as an aside i would be happy to explain how i have come to believe as i do, from being a a democrat and a communist from age 6 through most of my youth, to the conservative i am today if anyone was interested.)
i realized a few weeks ago that i am no longer fit for civilized society. my dad was in town and asked me to go to lunch (at one of my favorite restaurants, no less) with his cousin who lives up here. i brought elliott and on the way he fell asleep which was fantastic. we got to the restaurant, ordered, and the minute our food arrived i started eating. i looked up when i was done and realized that i had chowed through my meal in like 3 minutes while everyone else was only about a fourth of the way through. i can’t even remember tasting what i ate.
i was embarrassed, but after months of shoving everything down my gullet before the kid wakes up or in the midst of a screaming fit it had and has just become habit. it makes me look forward to the day when i can sit down at the table and eat as slowly as i want without any worry of interruption. now the question is how long is that wait going to be.
so justin has started going through and deleting all “my” music off his computer and soon off our mutually shared ipod. the nerve! you see, there’s “my” music, “his” music, and “our” music. all this means is that even the person who loves me for eternity can’t stand some of the music i love. i’m really not that offended or surprised. there are certain songs and bands that were they to come up on my ipod while anyone besides justin or maybe MAYBE my family and best friend was in the room i would quickly recognize the first note and then change it so i wouldn’t have to endure the look that would cross their faces. you know, the look that says “really? REALLY?”
and now my friends, i share some of those guilty pleasures with you both to lighten my guilty conscience and also to see which of you are my true friends. WARNING: this is not for the faint of heart. any and all who are allergic to synthesizer should not continue with this post.
1. Apoptygma Berzerk - Until the End of the World
you know that at&t commercial where the guy is in the hostel with the euro trash techno lovers? i’ve LIVED that commercial. going to a swiss boarding school in my music-formative teenage years changed my life and my tastes. i like some pretty appalling techno and i blame the fact that in a swiss village that has a movie theater that plays one movie a week and a dance club as its only form of entertainment it’s inevitable that you’re going to develop a taste for it. i was playing some music while i cleaned one saturday afternoon and this song came on and at first i was so excited because i love it, but then i realized the upstairs might be able to hear it and got so worried that they might judge me that i changed it to something less embarrassing. (a commentary on the video: the singer of this band should have been the guy in the hostel in the at&t commercial. he’s amazing)
2. Toto Coelo - I eat Cannibals
let me say this, i loved new wave before it came back in the big way 6-7 years ago. that being said my tastes for new wave are pretty undiscriminating and i love it all, much to the detriment of my street cred. this was my favorite song of the 80’s for a long long time until i realized that everyone else around me didn’t “get” it. and thus it became a guilty pleasure. (a commentary on the video - a neon light hut! this and mac tonight are why i love the 80s)
3. Joy Electric - Children of the Lord
(an aside: i started playing this video before i put it into my post and justin watched it for a second and then said “sheesh” loudly.)
you may find this hard to believe, but i actually thought joy electric was cool before i played this song for my friends amanda and josh and both of them said “what the crap?!” yes, i know what’s running through your head - “CHRISTIAN TECHNO?! SERIOUSLY?!” well, my first response to that is not all of his songs are christian! my second response is christian or not i understand the “what the crap” response. shut up. i love it. (a commentary on the video: ronnie martin, the singing guy, insists he’s not gay. suuuure.)
and there it is. i know you’ll probably all laugh at me and hate it, and i’ll admit that as i’m about to press “publish” i’m feeling kind of embarrassed, but i’m going to do it anyway because it’s what makes me me. love me, love my music.
**EDIT: i can’t believe i forgot this one. this is my number one all time guilty pleasure. i don’t even care, it’s so good.
ok, if i allowed myself to go down that path i’ll admit that i would probably become addicted to gambling.
justin and i went to mcdonald’s today for lunch only to find out that it’s monopoly time again. it’s like christmas for me. i get so excited with each new game piece and i love that you can also play online with each code on the piece. i got 6 doubles in a row and after getting park place i rolled a nine and even though justin told me that i would need an eight to get boardwalk my heart skipped a beat when my game piece seemed to pause on boardwalk for a second.
after playing i turned to justin and said “wow, i was just thinking about how we totally need to start eating at mcdonald’s every day until this thing ends.” my thinking? if i won the million the $10 i paid every day for the next 27 or so days would TOTALLY be worth it. and with the million i could totally buy the gastric bypass i would need after eating a big mac for 27 days straight. (and this thinking is why mcdonald’s makes a GRIP of cash during monopoly time)
but luckily for my health and my finances i have more sense than that. just barely.
there are certain things people never tell you about having a baby and one of those things is the fact that 2 months later you’ll still be taking stool softeners so you don’t get anal fissures.
i don’t deal with stress very well. i’m kind of a worrier - ok, i’m a big time worrier. i feel like every time a problem gets resolved another one pops up to worry about. this is especially true in motherhood. one day i’m worrying about elliott’s excessive spit up and lack of sleep, the next it’s his gasping for air in his sleep, and now i’m super worried about his neck and the possibility of him having a crooked head for the rest of his life. i’m also stressed about selling our car, justin finding a job after graduation, my own health and eating habits…
yesterday all these thoughts were swirling around in my head and eventually they made their way out of my brain and started eating away at my stomach. at least that’s what it felt like. i started to realize that if i didn’t relax i was going to give myself an ulcer (if i hadn’t already). i feel better today, although not 100%, especially when i think about the stupid car. i guess i now i just have something else to stress about - learning stress management before my stomach explodes. geesh.
justin and i really want to go to france for christmas and i’ve been looking up fares. elliott will be 5 months old by then so obviously we were thinking that he would sit on a lap and that we wouldn’t have to pay for him to travel. that’s what makes the most sense, right? i mean, he’s not taking up a seat, he’s not taking any extra luggage, and he’ll be adding what 20-something pounds to the plane’s weight.
wrong. even though he’ll be sitting in my lap and making my flight more uncomfortable i’m going to have to pay $381 for the privilege (while my ticket costs $765). it’s a fact, airlines hate familes and guess what i hate them back.
